Wry Take on the Election exercise
1. The index(ed) finger
For 5 Thursdays we will be watching candidates and voters showing off their index finger. To make out a voter from a candidate - just note whether the finger is pointed upwards (the voter invokes the divine superpower) or sideways (a pot/kettle calling his fellow kettle/pot black)
2. King-makers are more powerful
No candidate wants a decisive win. Everyone fondly hopes to 'play a major role post-poll' (aka king-making). Some perks of not being the major winner -
- You can take on contracts for ministerships for 5 years at the end of which you have sufficient funds for your next campaign.
- Someone else is wholly responsible
- you can critisize and wash hands off at the drop of a hat
3. Former speaker's Instructional Stint
Somenath Chatterjee is scheduled to open a different kind of 'Electoral College' to school old, new and rogue MPs. The syllabus will cover
- How to speak from the Well
- How to allow an MP to have his / her say
- How to participate in Q hour
- How to play to the (viewers') gallery
- Special classes to be conducted on shoe dodging. (It's not going to be long before an MP resorts to using shoes as projectiles)
(Commencement of classes will depend on minimum enrolment strength of 542)
4. Make hay while MP-ship lasts
5 years means endless opportunities for umpteen foundation stones that (grin and) bear your name, bountiful bytes with an ogling media, all-expenses paid holidays and trips whether office is in session or not.
5. Presupposing that at least a few MP's have public good in mind...
We could easily do away with the increasingly acrimonious campaign periods before poll date. The best and only occasions for campaigning ought to be the long and frequent periods between parliament sessions, whether the elected MP is part of the ruling coalition or part of the opposition. The MP and the party cadre can best use these periods of time to engage with the voters and take continuous stock of performance.
6. Claims of PM prospects
- I am the Illusionist, who can be Queen CM at state-level and PM at the Centre.
- I am a 'softy' by name only
- I was a deputy PM - for 5 years I had been so near yet so far!
- I have Gandhi as surname (non-Mahatma variety)
- I prefer PM-ship bestowed on me!
- I have the support of Indian Cricket ethos.
- I am the "rock star of saffron politics"
*****
For a refreshing, forward-looking outlook, read this well-articulated piece "How we can reform the politician" by former IAF pilot MP Anil Kumar (who is listed in my attempt at Ideal 542!)
For 5 Thursdays we will be watching candidates and voters showing off their index finger. To make out a voter from a candidate - just note whether the finger is pointed upwards (the voter invokes the divine superpower) or sideways (a pot/kettle calling his fellow kettle/pot black)
2. King-makers are more powerful
No candidate wants a decisive win. Everyone fondly hopes to 'play a major role post-poll' (aka king-making). Some perks of not being the major winner -
- You can take on contracts for ministerships for 5 years at the end of which you have sufficient funds for your next campaign.
- Someone else is wholly responsible
- you can critisize and wash hands off at the drop of a hat
3. Former speaker's Instructional Stint
Somenath Chatterjee is scheduled to open a different kind of 'Electoral College' to school old, new and rogue MPs. The syllabus will cover
- How to speak from the Well
- How to allow an MP to have his / her say
- How to participate in Q hour
- How to play to the (viewers') gallery
- Special classes to be conducted on shoe dodging. (It's not going to be long before an MP resorts to using shoes as projectiles)
(Commencement of classes will depend on minimum enrolment strength of 542)
4. Make hay while MP-ship lasts
5 years means endless opportunities for umpteen foundation stones that (grin and) bear your name, bountiful bytes with an ogling media, all-expenses paid holidays and trips whether office is in session or not.
5. Presupposing that at least a few MP's have public good in mind...
We could easily do away with the increasingly acrimonious campaign periods before poll date. The best and only occasions for campaigning ought to be the long and frequent periods between parliament sessions, whether the elected MP is part of the ruling coalition or part of the opposition. The MP and the party cadre can best use these periods of time to engage with the voters and take continuous stock of performance.
6. Claims of PM prospects
- I am the Illusionist, who can be Queen CM at state-level and PM at the Centre.
- I am a 'softy' by name only
- I was a deputy PM - for 5 years I had been so near yet so far!
- I have Gandhi as surname (non-Mahatma variety)
- I prefer PM-ship bestowed on me!
- I have the support of Indian Cricket ethos.
- I am the "rock star of saffron politics"
*****
For a refreshing, forward-looking outlook, read this well-articulated piece "How we can reform the politician" by former IAF pilot MP Anil Kumar (who is listed in my attempt at Ideal 542!)
Nice one. Just who should we vote for. The few honest individuals who promise good governance will only be swallowed by the bigger parties, and that will be the end of that. . .
ReplyDeleteHi Swarna :)
ReplyDeleteI think you have covered the political scenario in India well and quite comprehensively.
Many politicians want to make money by supporting a party which doesn't have a majority. Besides, as the communists tried to do last time, they will try to dictate the functioning of the Government giving outside support. Many regional parties will give support on the specific understanding that their man will be given important ministership in the central cabinet.
We have so many political parties in India. They have no intention of serving the public. They make tall promises at the time of election with absolutely no intention of keeping it. Politicians are business men. Their intention is to make profit and profit alone. There may be exceptions but I am not talking about them. They are a minority.
Somenath Chatterjee suffered so much because of hooliganism and misbehaviour of MP's in Parliament. He has retired and perhaps he can teach something to the MP's on etiquette and decent behavior in Parliament. But who will listen to him?
I hope one party gets majority and goes on to rule without any problems in forming the government. We will at least have a stable government.
Good day to you Swarna :)
Joseph
V ote
ReplyDeleteO nly
T alented &
E ducated.
But do we find any, irrespective of party names? If at all there are any, they are effectively kept at bay.
Not to
V ote
O ffending
T ainted &
E xtremist
Nice post - both funny and sad - and true as well.
ReplyDeleteI liked this.:)
ReplyDeleteClaims of PM prospects had me smiling ear to ear. Well written, Swarna.
Politics is a stage
ReplyDeleteAnd we are all actors on it..
Wish Parvathy Omanakuttan stood in elections :(
Hey good one..
ReplyDeleteAnd about that shoe projectile stuff,
most of them who resort to such act are so dumb that they don't realize that maximum elevation and distance of throwing a show is at 45 degrees, there is no point in losing ur cool without proper aim and angle,with just a slogging force.
Hope somanth chaterjee does good job teaching them,hope next parliamentary session will have better food for news channels like times now and headlines today.Crap!!